The Jared - Laurel Thing: March 2007

What SHE's said

"I love Daddy. And I love Mommy. And I like shoes."
(Binky dropped) "Mom. Get it." ("You have legs. You can do it. You're a big girl.") "No, Ellie's a PRINCESS."
"Mommies like pumpkin pie."
"My name is George EleaNOR Batman."
"I burped. I burped a princess burp in the pink princess spaghetti."
"You don't have any hair!" ("Aaah! Where is it?!") "I flushed it down the toilet!"
"I don't like tickles!" ("What do you like?") "Cereal."
"Not JA-Pan; Peter Pan!"
"Every day we sleep!! IN THE WORLD!"
"I wish I had wings so I could fly with you." ("Wings like a bird?") "No, wings like Tinkerbell."
"I don't love salad."
"Ack! If you say that again to me, it's a BAD CHOICE."
"He's OLD. We have to get a new daddy now."
"Mom! Look! A Crut-knacker!"
"I hate songs. I hate 'glory to God' songs. I only like 'twinkle star' songs."
"I need to dance like a girl"

deep thoughts by noah-since 2011

"I have super-vision-seeing eyes!"
"Mom, put batteries in my car. Then you can use GOODERIES...for Cheerios!"
"I'm going to toot on you. And toots are made of fire."
"My arms can stretch really long to Alaska, Mom."
"I'd be laughing my head off! Laughing my HAIR off! Then I'll be like Daddy!"
"That's a funny sound! Thanks for doing that!"
"I'm never gonna whine like that [like Isaac]. I'm gonna whine a different way."
"I use the 'yeah' word because 'yes' is a little bit ugly."
("I'm gonna clean the kitchen for 10 minutes") "Shh. Mom's gonna eat cake!"
"Hey diddle! I'm gonna JUMP on Diddle Diddle...."
"Robin Hood doesn't hug boys--only girls."
"My king says your king likes to lie."
"I feel good when I use a sharp knife."
("Heck, no!" "Heck, yes!") "Hecknology."
("Boys and girls, this is Elder Bednar") "Ha. That's the kind of smile you have when you're about to kill someone."
"When I grow up, I'll call myself DOO DOO HEAD because I hate dads!"
"When I was a boy, I used to be sneaky."
"How did you do that?" ("Daddy Powers.") "Nobody has any powers. Only scripture powers!"
("'Free is the best place to be.'") "The potty is the best place to pee...?"
"I'm sitting on the end so that THAT Ridiculous Head doesn't [accidentally] punch me in the face again."
"Why do you have to treat me like Oliver Twist??"
("How sure are you?") "Ten times a million more than a giant."
"Mommy, do you know why poop is sticky? Because it's made part of tape and part of glue. And part of stickery!"
("Goodnight. You smell like gum...?") "That's because I HAVE gum." ("Where??") "There's still gum in my boot-y footies!"
"All teeny tiny things are squishy...except for metal...and other things...."
"My pinky toe is the longest toe on me. Just take a look at pinkytoe.com"

Isaacisms 2011-present

"I dreamed I was falling off planets in space and getting caught in cloud windows."
"I'm sad because Ellie bumped her head AND the missionaries are gone. I saw the garage door close and I waved to their kind souls."
"When I grow up and blow a big enough boogar, I might have to wear a Kleenex all the time."
"Ridiculous. They made me wear a pink lifejacket!"
"Teachers at school need more respect than mothers."
"How's this joke? Your kneecap is the capital of your knee!"
"I just zipped my courage up like a zipper and decided to eat it."
("How come you're so smart?") "Because there's a school inside my body. That's even a smart way to say it."
"Noah, I'm so glad I get to spend all these days with you." ("Me, too.")
("Are you a hot pepper?") "No, I'm good and cheesy and ice cream-like."
"Sinks are everything to me. If they don't have a sink...too bad, so sad, your dad."
"That was the best I've ever slept. Good! Great! Good!"
"Daddy, what part of that is true?" ("I don't know.") "Then why did it come out of your FACE?!"
"Grandpa, you have yellow crusty toenails."
("I've been alive over 10,000 days! What did I do?") "I hope you haven't done ridiculous things!"
"You're the commander and I'm the king." ("I command you, king.") "You can't command the king!"
"...Please help any temptation that comes my way to be overthrown by my courage--SHOT!..."
"...And please bless Daddy to not look to see if kids are not being reverent, because they're always reverent, and it's not likely that they're ever going to not be reverent..."
"You guys are lucky to be parents of superheroes. We can give you lots of good advice."
"I hate you, stupid underwear that won't stay down!"
("Noah, did you know there are some grown-ups who are smaller than you?") "Yep, they're called hobbits."
"Noah, cheer up. This is a very very sunny place. Monsters live in dark swamps."
(sigh) "Most movies don't make my legs fall asleep, but these ones do."
"I live here, so I pretty much knew that."
("I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.") "I don't think we're gonna get dessert if that happens."

Friday, March 30, 2007